How to show up on camera with body dysmorphia
Are you recovering from eating disorders? Or perhaps you have a very negative body image? Or maybe like me you suffer from body dysmorphia?
I have put on a lot of weight the past fews years as I started recovering from EDs. I am getting used to a new body, and I don’t really know what it looks like. I avoid looking at it most days, and I am not very keen on being photographed when I don’t expect it. I have cried more than once at the sight of an unexpected image of me and sadly that’s a reaction I know to be quite common. That being said, it is something that I’m working on, and being a photographer I sometimes put myself in a model’s shoes to understand what you are going through. So if you are scheduled to be on a photoshoot, here’s some advice I give to my clients.
Before the photoshoot
Speak to yourself kindly
Stand in front of a mirror. Scan your body from head to toes, notice the first thoughts that come to your mind and counter them. Say nice things even if you don’t feel them. Say things that your friends have said to you.
Meditate
Either a body scan using those kind things you said to yourself in the mirror, or a body scan where you express gratitude for each part of your body for what they do. (eg: thank your legs for taking you to your best friend’s house, your belly for appreciating nourishing food etc)
During the photoshoot
Move in a joyful way
Wiggle, dance, pout, jump around … It will help your nervous system relax and will break the ice between you and your photographer.
Take control
Most photographers show you the pictures as they take it. It means a lot of pictures caught mid sentence, mid movement, in a posture you are not expecting. You can say “no” to seeing the pictures, and trust they will select the ones where you can see yourself with kindness.
Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your best friend
Invasive negative self talk tends to show up in incomfortable situations, and in new environments. Percieved failure (to adapt in an environment for example) can trigger a lot of unkind words. Just as you did before the photoshoot, counter your initial thoughts with kind words. I sometimes have a “big sibling voice” in my head when I percieve my negative self talk. I say to myself “is that necessary to speak to yourself that way?” sometimes it’s all it takes.
After the photoshoot
Look at the pictures with a loved one
And let the loved one see the pictures before you. Try to see yourself through their eyes.
Zoom out
Not literally. But with body dysmorphia or negative body image, we tend to focus on little details we don’t like. Chin, hair, arms … Look at the picture as a whole. Appreciate the image first. The art piece. Then look at yourself as a whole. If you start nit picking on a limb or a wrinkle, look away and start again.